Party Time!

As of today I will NOT be posting on this blog anymore so you'd better update your bookmarks and drop on by NOW! WOOHOO!

Change for the better: Part 6

Long overdue but here I am once again, with a little recap on my challenge to #changeforthebetter, aka to overcome my fear of failure.

What I have noticed throughout this process is that I am terrific at making excuses for myself: I don't have the right equipment (thanks to Special K, now I do!), I have to do the dishes (leave'em! it's not like I'm going to do them anyway!), my desk is a mess (then clean it!) etc etc etc... If I was half as good at getting shit done, I'd be a a full-time illustrator by now.

That nagging little voice in my head is still there, but it's become a lot easier to talk back to it considering the joy I get from completing a drawing. The therapy sessions I had made me realise I was being way too hard on myself. What's so bad about failing anyway? What is the worst that could happen if I try to draw Lala and end up failing miserably? I mean, it's not like Lala is suddenly going to start looking like her penciled counterpart, right. RIGHT?

But the biggest change was definitely my loving and ultra-supportive boyfriend. He'll literally be cheering me on when I'm working on something and he truly is my biggest fan (and I'm his because he's a rock star durh).
Don't have a boyfriend? Acknowledge the importance of feedback, and take note of what people are saying. Before I met James I just brushed off the compliments I got about my drawing, my photography or my writing, but then he came along, forced me to look at him in the eyes and believe what he was saying. I had to learn to accept and appreciate compliments, and my confidence skyrocketed.

For now, I think I have found my niche, I know what I like to draw and I have developed my own modus operandi and will continue to draw cute animals with funky headgear for a little bit before I move on to bigger and greater things.

My goals for the coming weeks/months include setting up some sort of portfolio, make room in my closet for James' stuff*, take outfit pictures (we have yet to find a moment in which I feel like getting out of my jammies, dammit!), stay creative and live the best life possible.

I have very much enjoyed this challenge and I can definitely say it made me grow as a person. So thank you Special K for this opportunity, thank you to my therapist who pushed me through a dark time and thank you James for being your amazing self. I take my party hat off to you.

Next up? I've been fiddling with the blog a little bit and will be doing a relaunch... Someday... Hopefully soon... But yeah you never know. Keep in touch on Instagram for shoddy mirror outfit pictures and snaps of Lala being adorble!


*On that note: Check out my Tictail because I'm selling things! I'll gradually add more as I go but check it out, and be sure to e-mail me for a better deal on shipping at discometooblivion at gmail dot com! Yeah!

Long time, no see.

Hey everyone, happy belated newyear! I've been MIA for over a month because that's kinda what I do once in a while. In my previous post I already noted how shitty I was feeling and it all got even worse so I kind of collapsed like a bad batch of jello pudding. I completely gave up on the Special K #changeforthebetter challenge (3 more chapters to go though!) and bitched my way through work. 

Snappy comments were all around. 

It had been a year since my dad got ill, and half a year since he passed away and in a way it took me those 6 months to let it sink in that I'll never see him again. I was overwhelmed with feels and didn't know what to do myself.

But three and a half weeks ago, I met someone who turned my frown upside down. I saw him playing the guitar at a show of a local band and I said to my friend that I thought that guy up there was cute. With a little help from another friend, we got talking.
An hour later we were best friends. Another hour later, we were lovers <3 (Though I don't mean that we had sex in the bathroom or whatever, ew, no, what are we, animals?!) His name is James and he is amazing.

All of my time has been going to snuggling and generally cheesy behaviour, although I think we're ready to not-lick each other's faces all the time now, so that means I may have some more spare time again for blogging purposes. I definitely bought a ton of things to take pictures of (holy crap such great sales!) and I feel motivated to get started again. Woohoo!

And until I get some content fixed for you, you can take a look at my Instagram! I'm quite active over there because SUCH FUN.

I'm going to stop typing before I revert into complete Doge mode. Such confuse. Wow.

Change for the better: Part 5

A while ago I posted on my Facebook page about my plan to draw out some of my favourite drunk pictures for my Special K challenge and although it took me loads of time, here's the first attempt. Like with the 'Fat Kitty or Matryoshka Doll?' drawing, I'm not too pleased with the result. Whilst I think the different elements add up better than they did in last drawing, I feel the colours are too dreary. I'll probably try brightening our frighteningly grey skin colour, perhaps scrap the beige knit I'm wearing and go for something cheerful, I don't know.

The cold weather and early darkness are definitely not motivational in any way. I live in an old building with shitty isolation so staying nice and cozy can be a bit tricky when you're sitting still. And lord knows I love to sit still!
So I spent 3 weekends straight doing nothing at all with my free time. On Sunday evening I would be sitting at my mom's kitchen table, looking at all sorts of DIY projects on Pinterest, telling my mom about all the things I was planning on doing next weekend and it just left me feeling so disappointed in myself. I was on such a roll and then boom it all kind of collapsed like a bad pastry, and before I knew it I was back in a vicious circle.

One of the things I've learned after losing my dad and dealing with the many emotions that come with grief, is that when it comes to how you feel, there is no black and white. No definite yes or no. One day I'll wake up feeling pretty darn awesome about myself and my creative endeavors, and the next I just want to stay in my jammies and sulk some, feeling like I'm back to square one. And that right there, feels like a whole new failure, too. Because making a shitty drawing is shitty, but not doing anything at all is perhaps what frightens me most. Which is paradoxical considering the fact that this fear I feel is so paralysing I end up glued to my couch.

The more I think about it, the more I start to realise I need to let go. I hold on to so much anger and sadness in daily life and not only does it wreak havoc in my head, it's probably why I bite my lip, scratch my nail folds (I never knew that had a name by the way - it's the part where the side of your nail meets the skin) and clench my jaw in my sleep. I have briefly thought about breathing exercises or yoga or whatever a while ago but perhaps I need to look into it again. I'll add it up to my list of things to do.

Sorry for the banter, I'm pretty sure this post reads like a grammatically correct version of Doge's internal monologue, but for now, that's the best my hungover head can do.

See you all next weekend!
(Or on Instagram, where you will find pictures of cats and jammies, mostly.)

See the rest of this series? Click here! 

DaWanda Designmarket Brussels: A report

On Sunday me and my bestie Sarah went on a roadtrip to the urban jungle that is out nation's capital: Brussels. The city reminds me of lengthy school trips and that nagging dear-god-please-let-this-be-over-soon feeling that comes with lengthy school trips. But not this time, as we went to see the DaWanda Designmarket! Yay!

DaWanda, originating from Germany and now available in English, French and Dutch too, is an online marketplace for DIY-ers to sell their goods. Kind of like Etsy, but more local.

In the goodie bag: 

Tablet sleeve by kaltwasser-TaschenTick, bunting by Van Jeanne, illustrations by HerrPfeffer

The concept of the Designmarket: A hotel is turned into a mini mall of 90-or-so mini pop up shops filled to the brim with Done-It-Themselves goodies. Needless to say, I was sold when I was invited to a bloggers' meet-up and workshop! This was actually the first time I EVER got invited to something because of my blog, and browsing through pretty things just so happens to be one of my favorite ways of spending a lazy Sunday.

But there was NO TIME for laziness, as the workshop included cross stitching a design on a tote bag! There were templates for mustaches, anchors and foxes and I was like "A FOX COULD BE A CAT" and thus I made a kitty tote. Durh.

If anyone was still wondering why I never have my pictures taken and do it all myself in my living room: That's my Chandler face. All of my posed photos are like this: Doubled up chin, fake smile, frightened eyes. SRSLY. My friend will confirm!

You know, I had been thinking about picking up embroidering for a while so I'm just going to go ahead and assume this is a sign I SHOULD pick up embroidering. I love detailed handiwork like that, it's so soothing, and much more of a before-bedtime activity than, say, watching Dexter. (I once dreamt I woke up to a bed full of limbs and in my dream I wasn't even the leastest bit freaked out about it.)

Anyway, I digress! On to the shopping experience! I decided to stick to browsing only considering Lala's shenanigans and having to buy a new phone have left me with a food-only budget for the rest of the month. Insert silent weeping here.
I personally found there to be a lot of relatively kitschy shops, which isn't really my thing but those shops seemed like the most popular ones amongst visitors so who am I, right?

I wasn't able to take a lot of pictures because the rooms were fairly dark. As a customer it didn't really bother me, but as a shaky photographer without a tripod, I would have liked a few extra light fixtures haha.

I definitely saw a lot of inspired and inspiring stuff. What did however disappoint me a little is that many designers missed an opportunity to present a brand instead of a product, seeing as it is far more expensive to create the experience of a brand online (in which you mostly rely on web- and print design) than it is when doing so in a shop! I mean, some props can go a long way!

But then again, I'm a huge branding geek and I could look at moodboards on Pinterest all day, so that's probably on me.

Instead of boring you with lengthy descriptions of stuff I saw, I just picked 3 of my favorite shops to show you some of their products available online at DaWanda!

Upon walking into the Adaoz shop I felt sort of a Frida Kahlo-esque vibe going, and lord knows I love some Frida! Am I crazy or are you feeling it too? There's some folk, some kitsch but a whole lot of life going on in these Parisian designs made primarily of vintage fabrics, and especially the sweatshirts felt really current and relevant: I could easily see these being sold as part of Urban Outfitters' or ASOS' vintage collections. Super sweet!

RAVENblakk is one of the shops that went all out on the branding: There were antlers, candles and even a small shrine in the room, I wish I could have gotten some pictures here but alas! They'd even switched off the lights completely, and it definitely enhanced the spooky/sexy vibe!
Some of the things online make me want to run to the thrift shop, buy everything that remotely fits and go wild with the scissors and embellishment, haha. Also check out their lookbook photoshoots on their website, lots of nipples but very editorial!

So I know steam punk is a thing, with the costumes and the whole gimmick, but these jewels weren't gimmicky at all, au contraire! Everything looked so refined and elegant, I felt like pulling out my AllSaints Haya maxi dress and strutting my stuff like I'm at the motherfucking Oscars. (Back in my days as a sales associate at AllSaints, I would wear that dress at the store and our manager would always be joking that I looked like I was going to present an award but bitch please we all know I'd be getting one for being so awesome. )

All in all, I enjoyed my day at DaWanda and I left so much more inspired than I came in, so I say that is a mission completed! On to the next chapter of #changeforthebetter!

PS: Just so you know, I changed my Twitter handle and there's no frikkin' way in hell I'm going to change the link in the icon in every post besides this one, so yeah. Now you know!